Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Which disease is the worst? The disease of wishful thinking? Waiting for "Godot?"Bigotry? Indifference? The false promise of a cure? These possibilities confront us all from time to time, but in the ALZ world, it's becoming very clear that researching goes only so far. These may be the darkest days yet, for it now seems that all of the so-called "promising" ALZ medications have been roundly discredited. It is a bitter pill to swallow, (or "patch"). So what is to be done? Let's think back to yester-year, for a moment. We eliminated TB, we managed to thwart AIDS (for the most part), and all in all, we've done pretty well with the most heinous of maladies. We should be able to overcome this insult to our civilization. Unfortunately, we have not been able, thus far, to create an effective motivation to deal with this most heinous of public health challenges. Pity our children, for the burden we are passing on, and for the results of the decay of wholesale lack of acuity. When language fails, civilization implodes, and the body becomes an onerous burden. We must not pass on this legacy to future generations! Without voice, without reason, we will surely leave a legacy that no one can bear. The time has come to focus and act!

Friday, November 19, 2010


Periodically, the memory of living in New Mexico asserts itself, and today happens to be the day for the Tesuque tribe to nod it's place in my memory. I will not romance the conditions of the tribe: dirt floors, urination anywhere, any time, enhanced, by the mongrel population for maximum racket and overall unrest in the camp. Afterbirth, questionable water sources, a sort of laisez faire attitude combined with the ravages of alcoholism, all in the name of need for whiskey and ammunition, scavenging petrol, fighting over the jug, with a huge tolerance for squalor, numbed to the cries and screams of the night. The night grows numb, and dim, and the day fades to the spectaculour colors of the sandstone bluffs, crumbling inexorably into the arroyos, shifting out of the wind, without the possibility of shelter. The impossible light finally drags its paint can to sleep, as the howls of coyote finish the day.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

It is what it is.

I don't like having Alz Disease. I dislike the vagueness, the pauses that almost never refresh, the stutter that builds to an unbearable explosion, propelled much of the time by a yearning to unleash a stream of feeling, a desire to let flow the deluge of pent up words that will never come out right, the misfire that stops the flow cold, or worse yet, the "spitling" that comes bursting, gargled, and twisted, gutteral and raw, a mad dog, chasing a tail that cannot be caught, behind a cruel master who seems to delight in the pain of expression, the master that drags and alternatively, praises and scolds, never knowing when to cower, when to growl, when to expose the belly, when to cover and slink. Keep your powder dry, your wits about you, or rather, pretend you have wits, for these are in short supply, and there are dangers unseen, ruses and false leads, dead ends and tight corners, cul-de-sacs and broken roads. Today I am fine. Today I love and honor, and have integrity...but the under-belly is exposed, and the roads tend toward misgiving, and the light dies slowly, Faulknerian, brusque, uncertain lines, meter decaying, ...where is love, where is the rest of me, my blue-eyed son, or you my one true one...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

From the sublime to the ridiculous

One of the best aspects of living and working in Baltimore is the nearly constant availability of live music, due mostly from our wonderful Peabody Conservatory and the hordes of musicians that live, create, and one-up them selves, vying for fame, mastery, and a shot at a life making music. A case in point: I wandered into the Basilica in B'more this noon, and dropped everything, once I realized that I had just walked into a harp recital that lasted forty minutes, and gave me a jeweled diadem of a reason to just stop, listen and float away on the phenomenal acoustics that made an hour of serenity and phenomenal live music the best gift I have had all day. Of course, this is Baltimore, however, and when I emerged from my harp-induced reverie, and quickly realized that I had jumped into an altercation outside the Super Fresh Grocery store, I felt right back at home, instantly Now that's culture!!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Clearing away the wreckage of the present

Now that all drug regimens thought to be useful in the battle for acuity and progress in the fight against ALZ have been virtually discredited, it is time to husband resources, pressure the medical establishment, and make a national/global effort on behalf of the the millions of people creating a drain on the energy, creativity, and forward progress of our species. The cost of not addressing this issue will create a societal backlash and a legacy that will dog our civilization for generations to come. The costs of this systemic drain on the species will pale before the mammoth loss of productivity, and innovation for decades to come. If we do not act now, through a dedication to research and our own ingenuity, we will have left a legacy that will damn the future to a world of devolution and misery. This is an imperative of the highest order, or we shall preside over the extinction of a world gone awry.